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If you’ve ever been with a woman who you deeply cared for, only to have your chances squashed by some ex, then you understand the immense frustration and hurt that affects both people.
(This writer has been in this situation, and it’s dreadful.)Maybe her former was an alcoholic or drug addict, womanizer, manipulator, narcissist, control freak, or any other one of a thousand things.
I was looking at some of the messages I get in the inbox over at Relationship Rules, and it turns out that most of you are too scared of being in a relationship, because of numerous reasons that are mostly governed by fear, fear of loss, fear of damage, fear of never being normal again, The fix here is to remember that a real relationship will only enhance you in every way possible.
There is no shame in admitting to yourself that you’re afraid to date – to be vulnerable.
For the latter group, their glum outlook on dating is understandable, as the path to finding a partner is often a difficult one. The uncertainty of dating has made some people fearful – a natural response to vulnerability. For women afraid to date, it’s important that such feelings are okay.
Some people see it as fun and full of possibilities; others downright hate it. A few of us have even gone through hell and back before finding our love – a time of tremendous joy accompanied by a sense of relief.
In essence, being rejected is similar to being told “You’re not good enough.”In addition to influx of negative emotions, rejection inflicts damage to psychological well-being.
Using Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (f MRI), scientists have found that rejection follows the same pathways of the brain that receives pain signals. Considering the brain’s tendency to relive negative life events – and the manifestation of emotional and physical pain that rejection brings – it quickly becomes apparent why a woman who has been hurt would fear the notion of dating.