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) I also plan to open a joint bank account with him and he'll take the ATM card.I'll deposit money as needed, but will keep the balance pretty low in case the card gets stolen and the account hacked. The simple answer to your first question has to be a flat no.
Just like an adult, your son may be asked to show a picture ID when using the card.
And that might lead to rather less pleasant consequences than just having his purchase of a bottle of Chardonnay rejected.
There will doubtless be people who'll tell you they've used other people's cards in Europe.
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